Ep. 8 The Secret to Stop Overeating

[00:00:00] I want you to imagine what it would be like to be able to bake cookies with your kids and not feel guilty or ashamed when you eat one.

[00:00:13] Or what would it be like just to be able to stop eating at one or maybe two instead of five or six or telling yourself you have to, you know, eat them now because you can't trust yourself to have these cookies in your house.

[00:00:29] Or what would it be like to not have to tell your kids to stay out of the cookies because they could self limit instead of feeling like they had to have them all right now.

[00:00:42] And what would it be like to be able to like buy chips or cookies or ice cream because they sounded good, eat some and then they sit in the pantry or the freezer for weeks or months instead of needing to eat it all now.

[00:00:54] So it's out of the house swearing you'll never buy it again and disappointed you can't trust yourself around food.

[00:01:02] Maybe this sounds like you, it's definitely something that I struggled with.

[00:01:07] But I want you to know it's possible. You can eat the foods that you want without being riddled with guilt and shame.

[00:01:15] You can start to see food as food instead of letting it define you and control your mental and emotional energy.

[00:01:22] And today I'm going to show you how it's possible as we dive into principle three of intuitive eating making peace with food.

[00:01:30] Welcome to the nourished a bloom podcast where your faith meets your health.

[00:01:35] I'm your host Kara Trakta, a registered dietitian and certified Catholic coach.

[00:01:39] And I'm here to help you cultivate a deeper connection with your body, your spirit and the nourishment that sustains them both.

[00:01:46] In a world filled with noise and confusion about food health and body image, this podcast offers truth inhaling from a Christ centered perspective.

[00:01:56] Together we'll untangle the deep roots of diet culture and discover what it means to truly care for ourselves through joyful nourishment of mind, body and soul.

[00:02:06] We're here to dive into the transformative power of intuitive eating coupled with the rich teachings of our Christian faith.

[00:02:12] With every episode I'll be cheering you on offering insights, inspiration and practical tools to help you heal your relationship with food

[00:02:21] and embrace the beauty of your body as a temple of the Holy Spirit with confidence and courage that can only be found in Christ.

[00:02:30] Join me as we journey together towards a more holistic approach to wellness,

[00:02:34] one that honors the wisdom of your body as God's creation, the teachings of our faith and the unique purpose you're called to fulfill.

[00:02:42] You were made to bloom to come into full beauty and health in order to bear good fruit for the Lord with your life.

[00:02:50] So if you're ready to nourish your body, feed your soul and bloom into the best version of yourself, then you're in the right place and I'm so happy you're here.

[00:02:59] Welcome to Nourish to Bloom where every day is a sacred invitation to thrive.

[00:03:10] Yeah we all have those foods we don't trust ourselves to be around.

[00:03:14] I wish you did like fill in the blank here for me. I just can't keep filling the blank in the house because I will just eat it all.

[00:03:22] For me it was things like cookies, chips, ice cream, chocolate, candy, like all of those things that diet culture has deemed quote unquote as bad foods.

[00:03:34] And we think that avoiding these foods or not keeping them in the house will help us to not eat them or not want them.

[00:03:43] But what tends to happen is that we actually end up wanting them more.

[00:03:50] So the secret to why this happens, the secret to why you can't control yourself around food, the secret to why you tell yourself you can't have X, Y or Z food in the house is really twofold.

[00:04:03] First it's the thoughts and the beliefs that you have about certain foods.

[00:04:08] And we're going to take a deep dive into these food thoughts and these food beliefs in the next episode.

[00:04:15] Today we're going to focus on reason number two, secret number two as to why you can't control yourself around food.

[00:04:21] And that's because restriction and deprivation cause you to desire that food more.

[00:04:27] So when you do actually have it, it typically leads to overeating guilt and shame.

[00:04:35] You end up craving it more, you want it more.

[00:04:38] And when this happens, we're going to see that this is what really propels us into those episodes of binging or overeating or feeling like we can't stop at just one cookie or a couple of chips.

[00:04:54] And so that's what we're going to focus today on better understanding restriction and deprivation, which is how diets operate and how you can start making peace with food.

[00:05:04] So you no longer in that binging or overeating or feeling like you can't trust yourself around food.

[00:05:11] And by doing this, you will actually decrease your cravings and your desire for these foods that you tell yourself you can't have or you can't trust yourself to be around.

[00:05:22] Many of us have been victims to this idea of deprivation set up.

[00:05:28] That's that's what the dietitians who developed intuitive eating call it the deprivation set up.

[00:05:35] And it's when we're told that we can't have something, we just want it more.

[00:05:40] Has that ever happened to you, like someone tells you, well, you can't have this or you can't do this and then it's like the thing that's on your mind all the time.

[00:05:47] Right.

[00:05:48] So this goes for many things in life, not just food.

[00:05:51] And I know and I get it.

[00:05:54] And I'm going to be honest and agree with you that there are definitely things that we desire that are truly bad or harmful to us or causes to fall into sin.

[00:06:06] But food is really not one of those things.

[00:06:10] I want you to remember that society has deemed foods good and bad.

[00:06:15] And imparted this moral clause based on what we eat.

[00:06:20] And that really doesn't hold up to divine truth.

[00:06:25] So what does this separate deprivation set up look like?

[00:06:29] You have this forbidden object food in this case, you fill them blank.

[00:06:33] What's the thing you feel like you can't trust yourself around is it cookies chips ice cream whatever right so you have this forbidden object you tell yourself you can't have it and when this happens.

[00:06:43] It elevates this food to be extra special and overvalued it's like putting it up on a food pedestal.

[00:06:52] And when this food is banished or restricted or for bill forbidden it builds up this like craving life.

[00:07:01] We want it more and more and in this craving only gets stronger and it gains momentum as we try to deprive ourselves and restrict ourselves more.

[00:07:12] And what really stinks is this steals your peace of mind because you experience these overwhelming and intense cravings obsessive thoughts start to occur and sometimes you have these compulsive behaviors.

[00:07:27] And what ends up happening is these things build up this craving life builds up and it all leads into this deprivation backlash or rebound eating.

[00:07:36] At this point the intensity and the deprivation gets too strong, and something triggers you to give in and eat the food.

[00:07:44] It could be because you're experiencing that primal hunger like we discussed in the last episode, or it could be because of your distorted relationship with this food.

[00:07:55] You have given to that desire you have for it, but it leads to episodes of overeating. And then that leads into overwhelming guilt for breaking this food rule, or because you've simply overeating and now you're ashamed you don't like that behavior or that habit that you find yourself in.

[00:08:13] But then what happens is this thing this phenomenon that's called the what the hell effect true scientific name for it when a food rule.

[00:08:24] So what happens with the what the hell effect is when a food rule is broken. So is that restraint. So is that restriction so is that like ability to not eat this food and then overeating begins.

[00:08:37] Because what happens is you ate the food you tell yourself, it just doesn't matter I already broke the food rule.

[00:08:44] So I might as well just eat what I want, because as much and eat as much of it as you can because you tell yourself okay I'll just start again tomorrow or I'll get back on track on Monday or the diet starts Monday whatever.

[00:08:58] I think we all experienced this.

[00:09:01] And that guilt that you feel after this happens is what gives you this quote unquote false proof that you can't trust yourself around food, and that you need to diet or restrict or swear off the food again not keep it in the house.

[00:09:16] So you can start to build to feel and believe that you can regain control around food.

[00:09:23] And then it keeps happening over and over and over again. You swear it off the craving life builds up. The food rule is broken. It ends in you eating as much of it as you want, as well as other foods that you have that are not you know quote unquote diet approved and then you feel guilt and shame and the whole cycle starts

[00:09:42] over again.

[00:09:44] So why do we have a tough time trusting ourselves around food.

[00:09:50] So there are numerous factors that can be at work with our relationship with food and we see that as we go through these different principles of intuitive eating but I think one of the big ones one of the big reasons why we have a tough time trusting ourselves around food is that we measure our moral standard by what we eat.

[00:10:12] And so we measure along the way we started to believe all these messages that tell us that if we eat a certain way, we could be a better person, we could be a holier person.

[00:10:23] Diet culture and health care have really been the ones that have labeled foods either good or bad. And we have begun begun to define how good of a person or how bad of a person we are by the kinds and amounts of food that we eat.

[00:10:39] And so in the way food companies market their products they play into this moral laws is this this moral character of ours by, you know, having messages that promote indulging or describing foods as sinful or promote cheat days as well as guilt free choices.

[00:11:00] And so then we're like in this constant battle of like, well do I have this well it sounds like can enjoy this cookie because it's you know made with x y and z ingredients and so I can enjoy it guilt free.

[00:11:11] Or here's this food to have on your your cheat day or you know go ahead and indulge.

[00:11:17] And so it's okay. Right and so it plays into this moral character of ours and we're in this constant battle of like, am I a good person if I eat this am I a bad person if I eat this and we're just kind of stuck.

[00:11:30] And the longer that these foods are forbidden the longer that we have this black and white version of good versus bad and how we're making our food choices.

[00:11:41] When we have all these forbidden foods and we have all these foods that we don't feel like we can trust ourselves around the longer that that we play into this the more desirable those foods become.

[00:11:56] So you get to this point where you just want to be able to enjoy a bite or a small amount of that food.

[00:12:04] Because I think deep down, you realize that it's okay to eat and enjoy what it is that you're wanting.

[00:12:13] It's okay to be able to enjoy French fries or it's okay to be able to enjoy a cookie or ice cream or bake, you know with the kids.

[00:12:22] It's a party view that deep down desires to be able to have some of these and to feel control in them and to like find that balance and that moderation, and not let it be this all or nothing thing right.

[00:12:37] You see the reality that food really isn't bad.

[00:12:43] It's just food. But when you allow yourself to have it those thoughts start to creep in those thoughts that say I told you that you couldn't do this, or I can't believe that you're eating that.

[00:12:57] It's just so bad for you, or you're such a failure. You're never going to lose weight or be healthy if you eat those French fries.

[00:13:06] And then when you eat those illegal things, it brings on that guilt.

[00:13:13] But I think it's funny because the irony is that feeling guilty when you feel guilty about something, it means that you believe you've done something bad.

[00:13:24] And so if you're feeling guilty about eating this particular food, the reality is that that should make you stop eating it.

[00:13:34] The feeling of guilt implies that you did something wrong or bad. I mean, if you robbed a bank, which is a crime, you'd likely feel guilty.

[00:13:43] And if you're feeling guilty, would you go rob another bank? No!

[00:13:49] I mean, unless you're like this closet serial criminal, no, you wouldn't because you knew it was wrong and that you were bad for doing it.

[00:13:58] And I just think what's funny is that what happens in most cases is after you eat this forbidden food, you still typically keep eating despite this feeling guilty because you've broken this food rule.

[00:14:12] So you tell yourself like, why not? I'll just keep eating this or whatever else I want. It will be my cheat day and I'll just start again Monday or tomorrow.

[00:14:22] I find that really interesting. And I think it's because deep down the desire is to be able to have these foods and to enjoy these foods and have that healthy relationship where you can enjoy them, but you can enjoy them in moderation.

[00:14:36] I think that's ultimately what you desire deep down. But because you've been on this deprivation and this restriction roller coaster for so long, it's like that feeling of guilt is like a false guilt because you really haven't done anything wrong.

[00:14:53] You haven't broken a law. You haven't committed a crime. And so then you kind of make up for that guilt because it's really a false guilt.

[00:15:05] It's like you're on this seethal. You when you're dieting or restricting your quote being quote unquote good, the deprivation is high, the restriction is high because you're not allowing you're not eating these foods but the guilt is really low because you haven't eaten any of those bad foods.

[00:15:23] But when that restriction is broken and the food is eaten, the guilt begins to increase as the deprivation decreases.

[00:15:31] You feel terrible with each bite and the guilt climbs higher and higher. And so you promise yourself I'm just going to get back on track because you want to stop feeling guilty, and you want to be good.

[00:15:42] And you're just on this seesaw that goes up and down, up and down, up and down. The only way to get off this seesaw is to stop playing the game.

[00:15:52] When you give yourself unconditional permission to eat foods, when you give yourself the opportunity to heal your relationship with food and to no longer be deprived, you simultaneously let go of the guilt because you can start to understand

[00:16:11] what you were doing. The fact that you wanted this food that you wanted to be able to enjoy this food wasn't bad to begin with.

[00:16:21] Your desire to eat these quote unquote forbidden foods is not the problem. It's the belief and the attitude of diet culture telling you that a particular food is bad for you, and therefore you are bad for eating it.

[00:16:36] The enemy has made food the enemy so you think you have to be in battle against eating certain foods.

[00:16:45] The reality of this is that the enemy is winning because he's tricked you into being preoccupied with what you eat and telling yourself in believing that I'm good if I eat this or I'm bad if I eat this and that, you know, I need to be a certain weight.

[00:17:02] My body needs to look a certain way in order to be successful in order to do good work, whatever.

[00:17:08] Instead of being able to focus on living the purpose God created you for, he's tricked you into being preoccupied with all of this food noise.

[00:17:20] At our core, we were designed to want to do and be good people. And I don't think any of us really like to sin. I mean it's really frustrating to keep committing the same sins over and over again.

[00:17:36] So I think that when diet culture came along and presented itself and said, well you could be good if you ate this way or you could be a better person if you eat this food.

[00:17:53] And you're bad if you eat this but you could be good if you eat this way. We saw this as like this easy win.

[00:18:04] Like we tell ourselves, okay this is great. Like I can do this if I can not eat these foods and eat these foods. I can do this just don't eat this food and I can be more wholly done.

[00:18:18] It was like we thought this like a fast pass to being good to sinning less. And it's just not true, because the truth is is our moral integrity is based on who we are as a person or behaviors and how we treat others, not on what we are or are not eating.

[00:18:40] And I get it, it's hard to face our brokenness to really like not want to sin to want to be a good person but still struggling with some of these same habits that have us falling into sinful patterns.

[00:18:54] We're built for ways to feel like we can be in control to feel like we are moving in that direction of being good and we have this false belief that eating is one of those ways, but restricting foods is not the answer because food, the actual food is not sinful.

[00:19:19] And those are true brokenness and only he is the answer to forgiveness and healing our sinfulness.

[00:19:27] It's time to stop basing your morality on what you eat. It's time to heal your relationship with food because food is not the enemy.

[00:19:37] The way to do that is to give yourself unconditional permission to eat any and all foods that you desire.

[00:19:45] And you're like, whoa, that's a scary idea that's a scary concept. I'm sure you're maybe thinking, okay, Kara, but if I give myself unconditional permission to eat if I let myself have whatever I want to eat.

[00:20:01] I'll only eat, you know, French fries or hamburgers or ice cream every single day all day long.

[00:20:07] Or that you tell yourself, I won't be able to stop eating if you allow yourself to have any food that you want. And really neither one of those behaviors is healthy.

[00:20:20] Yeah, I would agree that those thoughts, it's 100% normal to think that.

[00:20:26] But making peace with food and that unconditional permission to eat actually doesn't lead to just eating all these play foods all day long or, you know, not being able to stop eating.

[00:20:41] It's actually not how things play out.

[00:20:45] It does mean that you are allowed to have any food you want whenever you want it, but you get to decide how much win and if you want those foods using your internal wisdom, things like your hunger and your fullness levels, your taste preferences.

[00:21:06] The, you know, is that food go actually as good as you want it like actually as good as you thought it was going to be.

[00:21:14] And then and understanding how when you eat that food, how does it make you feel after eating it? Does it give you the energy you want or do you end up bleeding into a crash and you feel sluggish?

[00:21:26] You take this internal wisdom and you start to make your food decisions based off of that. And it means throwing out the ideas that certain foods are good or certain foods are bad, because no one food has the power to make you healthy or unhealthy.

[00:21:44] And because food is morally neutral, you are allowed to eat what you really want without needing to do penance because eating isn't not conditional.

[00:21:58] We can look at your previously forbidden foods as fun foods that can be enjoyed along with all those nutritious foods.

[00:22:07] Making peace with food gives you the freedom and the control because that's what you really want, right? Like that desire to feel like you can be in control of something.

[00:22:19] Food choices is one of those things you can but you can have the freedom to make your food choices based off of what you want, what will satisfy you, what will nourish and fuel you and what tastes good.

[00:22:33] Your food preferences are no longer dictated solely on their nutritional profile or what someone has told you you should or shouldn't eat based on their own opinion or preferences.

[00:22:46] You get to make food choices based on what you like and what feels good in your body. And it means that all foods are emotionally equal.

[00:22:55] All foods have the ability to be a part of what you eat and you can knock those forbidden foods off their pedestal because what you eat has no effect on your character or moral integrity.

[00:23:10] And when you make peace with food, you have the permission to eat what you want.

[00:23:15] And when you do this, when you make peace with food and you have this permission to eat any food you want but you get to choose what it is that you eat, the desire for those forbidden foods ultimately decreases.

[00:23:30] And then you eliminate this craving and you eliminate this urgency and it eliminates overeating or binging and it eliminates the guilt.

[00:23:43] The irony in all of this is that by allowing yourself to have all kinds of foods, you actually gain more control around food.

[00:23:54] You have permission to eat anything you want but that doesn't mean that you're going to eat everything.

[00:24:02] Right? It's like you just get this permission. The food doesn't have the power and these rules don't have the power.

[00:24:11] The power is given back to you and your internal wisdom and using your food knowledge and your food preferences to make your food decisions.

[00:24:22] And so it's being able to give you more control in your eating behaviors.

[00:24:29] The peacemaking process helps you to experience these foods and it gives you proof that you can in fact handle and feel control around these foods that were previously forbidden.

[00:24:42] The very foods that you've restricted and crave for so long are no longer desirable and those cravings diminish over time.

[00:24:51] How is this possible?

[00:24:53] How can you make peace with food and be able to find control and find that moderation and balance of these foods that you have for so long thought you couldn't trust yourself around?

[00:25:08] Well, the success of the peacemaking process is rooted in something called habituation.

[00:25:15] And it's a phenomenon that occurs in many situations in life, food included, and explains why with repeated exposure we experience less pleasure.

[00:25:26] So I want you to think about going and watching a new movie.

[00:25:30] Like, it's exciting the first time.

[00:25:34] Maybe it's like a really great movie and maybe you even watch it a couple of more times in like that first few days or weeks that it's out.

[00:25:43] But then like after that, it reaches the point where you've watched it so many times that it kind of gets boring because you know what's going to happen.

[00:25:54] The punchlines aren't funny anymore.

[00:25:57] Or maybe you know there's a resolution to that intensity in that psychological thriller that newness has worn off.

[00:26:06] Like you still really like the movie and maybe you want to watch it every now and then.

[00:26:14] And maybe it's like a couple of weeks later, a couple of months later, but you don't have that desire to watch it every single day.

[00:26:24] I mean we can even think about this happens with songs too.

[00:26:28] Like a new song comes out and it's great.

[00:26:30] We're loving it.

[00:26:32] And then at some point it's kind of like that newness wears off and we kind of forget about it.

[00:26:37] And maybe you know days or weeks go by and then it comes back up and you're like, oh yeah, that was that was fun.

[00:26:42] I'm glad I got to listen to that.

[00:26:44] This is the same thing that happens with food.

[00:26:47] When we restrict and forbid certain foods, we make them novel.

[00:26:51] We put them on that pedestal.

[00:26:53] I think many of us struggle with this with things like desserts and sweets or things that diet culture has labeled quote unquote junk food.

[00:27:04] These foods that we know don't hold much nutritional value.

[00:27:09] They taste good.

[00:27:11] But when we learn to make peace with food, we decrease that desire for them because we're no longer telling ourselves we shouldn't have them.

[00:27:25] But when we say can't have that can't have that for whatever reason, right?

[00:27:31] Whatever that belief is that's led to us believing that we can't have this food.

[00:27:35] We've caused them to be novel and exciting.

[00:27:38] And we promote them to be something special.

[00:27:43] And of course we want things that are special.

[00:27:46] But with habituation, we learn to have them more.

[00:27:54] I'm going to pause there.

[00:27:56] Of course we want things that are special, but because they aren't around very often when we do have a chance to have them were likely to overindulge.

[00:28:08] But as you begin the peacemaking process, these foods will still feel maybe a little novel and feel a little exciting as you start to allow yourself to have them again.

[00:28:20] And you may experience like this really slight uptick in your desire or craving for them.

[00:28:26] But if you honor that desire, if you let's just say you go out and you buy Oreos because you're going to make peace with Oreos and you have them in your house.

[00:28:37] And like that first thing you have them in your house, you're like, oh man, I just want Oreos and maybe you have like, I don't know, 10 of them.

[00:28:45] Maybe you have the whole package.

[00:28:47] I don't know each person's peacemaking process is different.

[00:28:49] But if you honor that desire and you honor that craving and it's like, okay, maybe you crave these Oreos five days in a row, but you're like, okay, I'm going to trust this process.

[00:29:01] I'm going to trust that I can have these and I can learn how to decrease my desire for them.

[00:29:07] What ends up happening is over time.

[00:29:10] You start to desire unless or the number that you eat in order to feel satisfied starts to decrease.

[00:29:16] And so this food actually begins to lose its appeal with repeated exposure.

[00:29:24] Making peace with food is not designed so you just get tired or sick of something.

[00:29:30] It's just that with permission to eat that food, that desire decreases each time you allow yourself to have it.

[00:29:39] So the food loses the power it once had over you.

[00:29:42] That's this phenomenon of habituation.

[00:29:47] Like, let's be honest, let's think about this.

[00:29:50] Let's use some logic here.

[00:29:52] If all you ate for a couple of days was cookies, ice cream and chips.

[00:29:56] Don't you think you'd wind up craving maybe some vegetables or a salad or a piece of steak or a chicken breast?

[00:30:05] So what happens is it all ends up balancing out over time.

[00:30:11] When you make peace with these foods that were once forbidden and you have this permission to have it and you're using these food preferences and these hunger and fullness tools,

[00:30:21] you'll end up making more informed nutrition choices.

[00:30:28] You'll end up eating more nutritious foods because you want to eat more nutritious foods.

[00:30:35] You want to eat them because you know and you experience that they make your body feel good.

[00:30:42] But also you incorporate and you enjoy some of these play foods with your meals and your snacks because they taste good and they bring more satisfaction to your meals.

[00:30:53] But the awesome thing is you no longer have this side of guilt that comes with it.

[00:30:57] I went from not being able to have any sort of chocolate cookie, candy or chips, any of these so called junk food in my house.

[00:31:07] And now we have them in our pantry on a regular basis.

[00:31:12] I had told myself for so long that these foods were bad for me and then if I had them in the house,

[00:31:19] what ended up happening is that I would binge on them or I would sneak them.

[00:31:23] And I felt so out of control but also like I couldn't stop eating them.

[00:31:30] So I'd tell myself that if I just ate it all, it'd be gone and I promised to never buy it again.

[00:31:35] But let's be honest, it's really not a fun life to live if you can't enjoy, you know, baking something with your kids or, you know, going out for ice cream with them

[00:31:48] or, you know, having some chips with your sandwich just because they taste good.

[00:31:55] Like that's not enjoyable.

[00:31:58] It's not enjoyable to be stuck with these very, very rigid rules around food and saying like, okay, my plate can only have chicken breast and broccoli and maybe brown rice.

[00:32:10] Like food was made to be pleasurable and enjoyable.

[00:32:14] And making peace of food allows that to become part of the decision-making process.

[00:32:21] There are times now that, you know, I may go a few days in a row having like a piece of candy at lunchtime.

[00:32:29] And then, you know, I've satisfied that craving and then it can be weeks before I'm like, huh, you know, this little twix bar sounds good to have with my lunch.

[00:32:38] I wanted something sweet and so I had it, but it didn't control me. It didn't consume me. It didn't lead into this like overindulgence and needing to eat all of it so it would be gone, which was, let's be honest, a way worse approach than saying like every couple of days or every few weeks like enjoying a piece of candy with my lunch.

[00:33:03] It still blows my mind sometimes how much my eating behaviors have changed and how far I've come and how much more in control I feel around food.

[00:33:14] Like I can remember when I was in the throes of dieting, right? You had all of those quote unquote diet desserts like your 100 calorie packs of whatever cookies and whatnot or like skinny cow ice cream.

[00:33:27] I promise you that when I was in the throes of dieting that I had dessert almost every single night because it was like, oh, there's this diet food that gives me the permission to have that.

[00:33:39] And so I'm going to make sure I have that because I was trying not to feel deprived of something I wanted.

[00:33:45] And so I would make sure that every night I ate this sweet treat and sometimes it would end up being three or four of them.

[00:33:56] And now because I've made peace with food and it's like, oh, I could have ice cream or I could have chips or I could have this.

[00:34:03] I don't have dessert every single night.

[00:34:07] And to me, if I'm looking at this from a health perspective and a nutrition perspective, isn't it a overall quote unquote like better approach that I'm not having dessert every single night?

[00:34:23] Probably.

[00:34:25] Because I'm fueling my body throughout the day with nutritious foods because that's what feels good in my body.

[00:34:32] But also knowing that like if I have just this piece of candy that doesn't break me, it doesn't mean I'm going to just automatically gain weight.

[00:34:39] But when I was dieting, it was just the opposite of like, oh, well here's this dessert diet.

[00:34:45] You have the permission to have it so you better eat it.

[00:34:49] I don't know.

[00:34:50] Anyway, I can just say that my relationship with food has changed.

[00:34:56] I trust myself around these play foods more and in this peacemaking process, I actually eat less of them now than when I was in the throes of dieting.

[00:35:08] And making peace with food and building this healthy relationship with food has also been great for my kids.

[00:35:15] Because as parents stuck in the throes of diet culture and these wellness culture beliefs, we restrict and we deprive our kids from these same things because we believe that they're bad for them.

[00:35:29] I used to be so proud of myself that my oldest didn't have a chicken nugget until she was three.

[00:35:35] But after learning about intuitive eating, I realized that this deprivation and restriction and telling them like that's a bad food really isn't healthy for them.

[00:35:49] My daughter was exposed to my diet culture food rules the longest and she has had the toughest time out of all three of them to be able to establish that healthy relationship with food because she was restricted the longest.

[00:36:05] And there's something that's built up in her that's like, okay, mom is going to say I can't have that because she said I couldn't have that at one point in time because it was bad for me.

[00:36:14] And so we're still having to work through her food rules and her food beliefs and helping her build that healthy relationship with food that she could have this cookie or whatever and I'm not going to tell her tomorrow like that's bad for you can't have it.

[00:36:30] And so we're still working through this.

[00:36:34] But what I've learned is that if we don't also allow our kids to have these fun foods and learn to help them experience this phenomenon of habituation and this consistent exposure to these fun foods.

[00:36:51] What's likely to happen is that when they get older.

[00:36:55] They're going to go to a friend's house where these foods are allowed, and they're going to wind up binging or overeating on these foods.

[00:37:04] I want you to think about I mean I know plenty of adults now who have told me my parents didn't let me have sugar we weren't allowed to have sweets in the house.

[00:37:13] And now they have a disorder relationship with sweets and sugar and the self proclaimed sweet tooth.

[00:37:21] I would have said I had a self proclaimed sweet tooth like that was how I would have described myself in my dieting days was I had a sweet tooth.

[00:37:28] But what I've learned in this is that you're not like innately born a sweet tooth.

[00:37:33] It is your relationship with food and your beliefs with food that make you have that heightened desire for sweets.

[00:37:41] But you can help your kids establish a healthy relationship with food by first healing your own relationship with food and then teaching them how to do it.

[00:37:52] It's important to note that unconditional permission to eat doesn't mean that you just eat whatever you want whenever you want I want that I want you to know that.

[00:38:01] Because even now food companies are hijacking intuitive eating and this premise of this unconditional permission to eat.

[00:38:09] But that's not how this works it just doesn't mean that you throw nutrition consideration to the wind.

[00:38:15] It just means that foods aren't labeled good versus versus bad anymore and you're not a good or a bad person for what you eat.

[00:38:22] You're making informed decisions but you're these informed decisions include things like your nutrition knowledge but also your food preferences and what would be satisfying to you.

[00:38:33] I'm going to give you an example right here because I think this is important.

[00:38:38] Food culture and wellness culture and like health gurus have in the last few years like kale is the food right we have all these quote unquote super foods that are supposed to be phenomenal for us and kale is one that comes to mind.

[00:38:55] What if you don't like how kale tastes what if you don't like how the texture of kale like I was actually just at a restaurant with a friend and we both had kale salads and they like salted the kale after washing it to dry it out and kind of make it softer and she's like wow this is really salty right okay so let's just use kale an example.

[00:39:18] What if there's something about kale that you don't like the taste the texture whatever.

[00:39:23] Does that mean that if you chose to have baby spinach or some other leafy green that that you cannot be healthy because you are not choosing kale.

[00:39:32] No it's just giving you that permission to say hey I really don't like the text and texture of kale but I do like the way spinach tastes or I like this other green leafy vegetable and that's still promoting your overall health right.

[00:39:47] So this is what that unconditional permission to eat looks like it's using your nutrition knowledge along with your taste preferences and your satisfaction and how things feel in your body to make your food decisions.

[00:40:00] It just means that your food choices are no longer dictated by external recommendations or perceived moral character but in response to these internal eating signals.

[00:40:11] And knowing that day to day you're going to make food choices based off of how you're feeling and what's going to feel good in your body and what's going to give you the energy and the fuel that you desire for that day and what's going to taste good that day.

[00:40:28] What's going to be satisfying when you have permission to eat all foods and you're making choices that are good for your body and mind.

[00:40:37] Your nutritional status can actually improve over time because you have more variety in what you are eating.

[00:40:45] I would say that with the example of like the diet cookies and the diet ice cream that when I let go of the dieting and I just started this intuitive eating process.

[00:40:56] That's a good example of that my nutritional status improved over time because I had more variety in what I was eating and I wasn't you know.

[00:41:06] I was rubbing out other things just so I could have the diet cookie or the diet ice cream.

[00:41:11] So I hope that makes sense is that over time your nutritional status can improve and that's one of the things that research is showing intuitive eating research is showing is that intuitive eaters have more of a variety in what they are eating and overall have a better nutritional status because of that variety.

[00:41:31] And so I want to take a minute to just briefly touch on gluttony.

[00:41:37] Because I think it's important to touch on it here.

[00:41:40] It's definitely a topic that will go deeper into in future episodes but I wanted to just bring a little bit of clarity to this especially when we're talking about making peace with food and this unconditional permission to eat.

[00:41:55] Gluttony is a vice.

[00:41:59] It's a sin and it's the sin that leads us to eating and drinking more than we need and more than we ought to.

[00:42:06] It's this love or the successive indulgence of eating and drinking and gluttony disregards balance and moderation.

[00:42:16] Now I said previously that food is not a sin.

[00:42:20] When it comes to food the sin with food is the act or the behavior of eating or drinking too much.

[00:42:33] Regardless of what that food is like the type of food you are eating is not the sin.

[00:42:41] I think we think that because food and diet culture has labeled these fun foods like cookies and chips and ice cream and those things as bad for you that we assume that the sin is just by merely eating that particular food.

[00:43:01] But the gluttony is the act or the behavior of this overindulgence or this eating and drinking to excess.

[00:43:09] And so if we think about gluttony as it's that behavior you could actually fall into gluttony even eating foods that are deemed superiorly nutritious if you eat them in excess.

[00:43:24] In my own experiences I frequently fell into gluttony into overindulgence and overeating while I was dieting and restricting.

[00:43:36] It's that deprivation backlash that we've been talking about in this episode.

[00:43:41] I restricted because I thought a particular food was bad.

[00:43:46] I became preoccupied with it and when I ate it I ended up overeating and indulging.

[00:43:53] I ended up falling into gluttony but going through the peacemaking process and healing my relationship with food

[00:44:01] I now rarely find myself falling into gluttony.

[00:44:06] I rarely find myself overeating or overindulging because my desire for those foods have been tempered, have been moderated by knowing that I can enjoy them on a regular basis.

[00:44:21] So healing your relationship with food and making peace with food can actually help you grow in the virtue of temperance

[00:44:30] because it helps to teach you moderation and self-control in our relationship with food.

[00:44:37] Moderation is defined as the avoidance of excess or extremes.

[00:44:42] And so this means you'll no longer be living in those two extremes, one in being unnecessary and excessive restriction

[00:44:51] and the other in being overeating, indulgence and gluttony.

[00:44:54] Making peace with food promotes that moderation, that temperance because it's saying yes I can have this particular food

[00:45:06] but I'm going to check in with my body and hey maybe I'm not feeling that hungry right now

[00:45:12] or maybe that just doesn't really sound good or you know what I do like ice cream

[00:45:18] but I prefer ice cream from this particular ice cream shop versus the ice cream that you get at the grocery store

[00:45:26] so I'm going to pass this time.

[00:45:30] Or you know maybe it's a store-bought cake at a birthday party and you're like hey I do enjoy cake and I can have cake

[00:45:41] but I have learned that store-bought cake just doesn't taste as good as homemade cake so I'm going to pass

[00:45:48] or maybe it's like this particular food sounds really good but you know that after you eat it maybe you feel really bloated

[00:45:56] so you're not going to have it right but it's saying yes I can have this food

[00:46:01] but when I check in I may find that I do actually want it or I might not and that's okay

[00:46:06] but I know that if I really wanted to have it I could have it and maybe I'll want it later

[00:46:12] and if I do then I'll allow myself to have it.

[00:46:15] As Christians we are challenged to grow in temperaments, temperance and self-discipline

[00:46:23] to avoid gluttony and excessive indulgence to help promote moderation and prioritize spiritual and moral value over material desires

[00:46:32] One of the ways that we get to experience pleasure and abundance in our earthly life is that God made food to be pleasurable and enjoyable

[00:46:46] He didn't impart rules or promote holiness based on food and what we eat

[00:46:52] Scripture says the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking

[00:47:00] I'm going to read that again.

[00:47:02] The kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness peace and joy in the Holy Spirit

[00:47:09] It's from Romans chapter 14 verse 17

[00:47:12] It's saying that in the kingdom of God eating and drinking are not important

[00:47:17] The important things are living right with God

[00:47:21] Peace and joy in the Holy Spirit

[00:47:25] My sisters in Christ let us not continue to be distracted or lose sight of what is important any longer

[00:47:36] Like what you're hearing on the Nourish to Bloom podcast, we'd love for you to leave a rating and review

[00:47:41] Not only does that help me to know what's resonating with you, the listeners

[00:47:45] but it also helps me reach more women seeking guidance on their wellness journey

[00:47:49] Thanks again for all the support and encouragement. You sure know how to make a girl feel loved

[00:47:54] Next week, no go Bloom