Hey there, beautiful souls! Welcome back to another episode of Nourished to Bloom. Today, we're diving deep into the heart of fostering self-love in the next generation with Ep. 51: Building Body Confident Kids: How to Raise an Intuitive Eater, Part 4.
Have you ever wondered how you can empower your children to grow up with confidence, seeing their bodies as the amazing creations they are? This episode is packed with insights on building a healthy body image and nurturing intuitive eating habits from a place rooted in faith.
Here's one experience that really stood out...
My preteen daughter asked me out of the blue if a shirt made her look fat. It was a defining moment, where I realized the critical weight of our words and actions on our children’s self-perception.
Can you recall a time when your child mirrored self-doubt they might have observed?
💡 Imagine creating an environment at home where self-love and body positivity are the norm, not the exception. By addressing their feelings openly, you can help lay a lifelong foundation of confidence and acceptance.
The Key: Through fostering open dialogues about body image and lifting them with God’s truth based on character rather than appearance, we empower children to recognize their inherent worth.
Here's a sneak peek at what you can expect from Episode 51 👀:
🧠 Insights into how diet mentality affects body image and parenting
👧 Tips on raising body-confident girls, ensuring they view themselves beyond societal beauty standards
👦 How boys can also face body image pressures and what we can do to support them
📅 Age-specific strategies for reinforcing positive body image from toddlers through young adulthood
🙏 Integrating faith to ground self-worth beyond physical appearance
Whether your kids are just learning to walk or figuring out life in high school, this episode is your guide to being their unwavering support system in creating a positive self-image.
Next Steps:
Share this episode with another parent needing encouragement!
Join the Faith-Led Wellness Coaching Program - A 10-Week Christ-Centered Journey to Heal Your Relationship with Food & Your Body.
Learn more and register at https://www.karatrochta.com/faithledwellness Book your FREE Wellness Audit Session: Click Here Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karatrochta/
Join The Nourished to Bloom Community: www.community.karatrochta.com
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The Nourished to Bloom Podcast Show Notes: www.podcast.karatrochta.com/shownotes
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So if I had to say, the number one thing
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that people that I work with struggle with
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the most is likely their body image.
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Now for sure, the diet mentality, the food
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restriction, the dieting all influences their body
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image. But I would say that out of all the things that
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the women that I work with really desire, it's to heal their body
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image, to be able to have a strong sense of self self, to have
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a strong self image and to just heal
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the struggle and the negativity that they feel towards their
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bodies. And this is so true when
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we start to think about what we are passing on to our
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children. And I think having this conversation around how
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to help kids build body confidence is something that is
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so critical and crucial to help this
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next generation not grow up and experience so much
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of our own body image struggles. So that
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is what we are diving into in this part of our
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how to Raise an Intuitive Eater series. We're going to talk about how
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to build body confident kids. So I'll see you in
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there and let's get started. Welcome to the Nourish
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to Bloom podcast where your faith meets your health. I'm your
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host, Kara Trachta, a registered dietitian and certified Catholic coach,
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and I'm here to help you cultivate a deeper connection with your body, your
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spirit and the nourishment that sustains them both. In
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a world filled with noise and confusion about food,
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health and body image, this podcast offers truth and healing from a
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Christ centered perspective. Together, we'll untangle the deep roots
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of diet culture and discover what it means to truly care
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for ourselves through joyful nourishment of mind, body and
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soul. We're here to dive into the transformative power of intuitive eating
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coupled with the rich teachings of our Christian faith. With every
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episode, I'll be cheering you on, offering insights, inspiration
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and practical tools to help you heal your relationship with
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food and embrace the beauty of your body as a temple of the
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Holy Spirit with confidence and courage that
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can only be found in Christ. Join me as we journey together
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towards a more holistic approach to wellness, one that honors the
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wisdom of your body as God's creation, the teachings of our
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faith, and the unique purpose you're called to fulfill.
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You were made to bloom, to come into
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full beauty and health in order to bear good fruit for the Lord with your
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life. So if you're ready to nourish your body, feed your soul
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and bloom into the best version of yourself, then you're in the right place. And
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I'm so happy you're here welcome to Nourish to
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Bloom, where every day is a sacred invitation to
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thrive. Hey there. Welcome back to the Nurse to
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Bloom podcast. So happy to be with you here today.
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I hope that you are having a beautiful and blessed week. And I'm
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really excited to talk about body
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image and how we can help our own children
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become confident in their bodies and
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not struggle with body image the way that so
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many of us have to really be able to break that
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cycle. And we have to remember that
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as parents, we play a huge role in shaping how they see
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themselves. And I have a daughter,
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she's my oldest, who is a preteen. We will be going into
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middle school this next year, and it seems like
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over the last few weeks, we have just been hit with, like, preteen
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thing after preteen thing. Like, first it was
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some drama around a boy asking her to be
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her Valentine, and then
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kids making fun of that whole thing and just how to navigate that whole
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situation as we start to, you know, have
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feelings towards the opposite sex and. And.
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And all of that and how to manage, you know, if somebody asks you out,
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what do you want to say? And just all of that. It was definitely one
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of those conversations that I don't think I was quite prepared for.
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It was met with a lot of tears, but we've made it through. She was
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great in being able to advocate and clearly communicate
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what it was that she wanted out of that whole situation.
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So that was really awesome. But, like, in that same time
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frame, I can remember it was a Saturday, and we were
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just doing stuff around the house, and I was in the kitchen doing something, and
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she came in from the outside, and she had to come up our. Our
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deck stairs and then into the. The door off the back
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patio. And she walks into the kitchen and,
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like, just stops me and says, mom, does
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this shirt make me look fat? And it was this moment of,
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like, freezing for me because it was
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this whole. It brought back so many emotions of my own struggles and the
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own ways that I viewed my body and the struggles that I had with body
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image. And I had to just pause and like, okay,
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how are we going to handle this situation? Because the last thing I want to
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do is put thoughts in her head. I want to understand where she's coming from
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in this situation and handle the whole
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thing. And. And it's tricky. It is really tricky to talk about
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bodies and to talk about body image with kids of any
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age, but especially, you know, getting into that preteen age where
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there's just so many hormonal changes happening and there's just so many
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natural changes that are happening with their bodies that it
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is I think really a pivotal, pivotal age to talk
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about body image. And so I asked her, I
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said, well, what do you think
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about your body? Because I just kind of wanted to see where she was.
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And she was like, well, I mean, I don't think that I'm
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fat. She's like, I think it's just the shirt. I think it's just the way
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this shirt lays, that it just, it just makes my body look bigger. And I
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said, okay. I said, well, sometimes, you know, we have different
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clothes that we put on and we don't necessarily like the way
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it looks on us or it doesn't lay just right or anything like that. And
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so I felt like I maybe dodged a bullet with that one. But we,
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I had a follow up conversation with her on the Way to Dance one
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day just trying to understand where she was on the whole body image thing
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and sharing, you know, some of my previous struggles and how I had
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these thoughts about my body and the things that I thought about, you know,
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myself. And she's like, well mom, I, I definitely don't think that, that way about
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myself or think that way about my body. She's like, I think
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that I'm strong both physically and mentally. She
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said, I think I have a lot of confidence and I'm kind and I'm
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smart and I'm funny and you know, those are really the things that I think
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about myself. And it was just one of those moments
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where it was one met with relief because
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either she has so many other qualities that she
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is viewing herself out of that she doesn't, you know, she
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isn't focusing on the physical aspects of her
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body or, or two, we just haven't met them the met
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those yet. But it was just one of those moments where
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it made the work that I did and the healing that I did with my
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own relationship with my body really be worth it. Because it was
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evidence that maybe I was able to just break that cycle and
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to stop that cycle. And so today I just kind of want to
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share some different thoughts about how to help raise
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kids who are body confident. And we're going to look at this from two different
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perspective. So we're going to kind of look at it in ways that we can
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support, support boys and then ways that we can support girls.
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And then we're going to break it down into different ages and stages, looking at
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it from different age ranges and things that we can implement and ways
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that we can talk to our kids about bodies to help
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develop this confidence and this resilience and this healthy relationship
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with their bodies. Now I said kind of broke this down into
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boys versus girls. The thing is, is that
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it, it really goes for all kids and for both genders,
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really, this overview of what we can do, develop positive
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body image. But I think it was just important to address things
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that maybe boys may be facing that might be different from girls, because I think
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we can often forget that our sons and our
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boys are likely dealing with a lot of body image
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struggles as much as, and sometimes more than, than
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our girls. And it's important to be able to address this and help them
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build that body positivity and really,
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you know, foster this sense of embracing their,
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their masculinity, but in a way that allows them
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to understand their unique design
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and the way and the reasons why God designed their
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body in a certain, in a certain way. And so boys are
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often overlooked in that body image conversation. But it's important to
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remember that they are not immune to those pressures.
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And while girls are frequently influenced by
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thinness ideals, boys often feel the need to be
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muscular, athletic, or quote unquote, strong in a
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particular way, or they're dealing with maybe issues around
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height. And so here are just a few ways that I think we can help
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them develop that confidence. The first one being
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to redefine strength and
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helping them understand that it's society that
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equates strength with physical appearance. But truth,
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strength is about character, it's about
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integrity, and it's about resilience. It's about
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who they are, not the way they look. And so it's important
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to remind our boys that their worth isn't in their muscles, but it's
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in who they are as individuals and how they treat
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others. That's what truly defines someone as a strong
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person. And then also I'm diversifying the
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role models that they have. It's a very
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challenging in today's society with a number of
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professional athletes that are constantly in our face. But
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we need to help them diversify their role models. And
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we can even see this in a lot of our, our athletic,
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our athletes and professional athletes. Just we're starting to
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see this shift of, in court, of them sharing
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their faith and of them being a godly man. But it's really
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important to point out examples of godly men who embody
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courage and who embody kindness, wisdom, and
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not just those with an athletic or a quote unquote, ideal
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physique. But even highlighting biblical figures like
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David who was chosen for his heart, not his outward
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appearance. And then encouraging body function
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over form, helping them understand that there's beauty
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in the function of their body, that God
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created their body to function in a very
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beautiful and ordered way. And so instead of focusing
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on how their body looks, we can can, you know, lean
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into what our bodies can do, what their body can do. So celebrating
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their, the abilities, the way it helps them play, the
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way that it helps them think, the way that it helps them serve others
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or, or you know, com do their
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favorite hobbies just. And it doesn't have to be an
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athletic perspective or an athletic hobby, but just how their body
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allows them to do the things that they enjoy
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doing. And then it's more than just their body's size or
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shape. And then really being able to promote healthy habits without
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pressure. Talking about exercise and nutrition
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as ways to honor God and to take care of their
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bodies, not as a means to achieve a certain
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look and then reinforcing that movement and nourishment are
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really about feeling strong and energetic, not
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about fitting this particular mold that society is
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putting in front of them. And that leads to addressing those media
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and cultural pressures, teaching them to critically
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assess what images they're seeing in sports or
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movies or social media and reminding them
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that what they see on the screen is not always
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true or the reality, because many male
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influencers and athletes use enhancements or filters
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that create an unrealistic expectation. And so
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really being able to encourage open conversations about what's
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real and what's fake and what's not real.
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And so this is really how we can support our boys in building
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body confidence. Now girls, on the other hand,
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often struggle with an intense societal focus on thinness
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and beauty. And the messages that they receive from
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social media, from peers or even family members can
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deeply affect thyroid their self worth. And so here's some
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ways that we can help them. And I think this first one really is
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very applicable to our boys too. But we have to speak
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truth into their identity, help them
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root their identity in Christ and reinforce that
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their beauty or their attractiveness is not tied to their
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size or their shape or their outward appearance. It's
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a critical reminder for them that they are
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fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of
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God and that it doesn't matter what their body
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looks like, it doesn't matter what their face looks like. It's that their
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worth is unchanging in God's eyes, that they are
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loved and known and worthy because they are a child of God.
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And there's no performance or no
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certain image that is needed to
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attain that love. And then we have to help them
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reframe beauty and help them see beauty as more than
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just physical traits. That
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beauty, true beauty, is really from the inside
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out, right? That beauty is kindness, it's intelligence,
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it's faithfulness and a joyful spirit
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and being able to complement their character more than
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their looks. Now I will say that
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because I've gone through this healing journey a lot
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of what the intuitive eating quote unquote experts
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say is, you know, just to not comment on people's
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bodies, which I agree with, but also going as far as to not, you know,
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tell someone that they look beautiful or pretty or anything
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like that. But as I'm, as I have a daughter who
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is, you know, going into that pre teen
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age, I do think that it is important
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or that it's maybe a good idea to
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help them reinforce that they are beautiful but
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do it in a way that we're focusing not only on a physical appearance
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but also their character. Right? That they are beautiful. Instead of saying oh
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you look pretty or you look beautiful, right?
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It's you are beautiful, that you are. That you as a
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complete person, body, mind and soul is
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beautiful. And I think it's important to hear that
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from their parents and, and their families and their loved ones in
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a way that helps them build up that confidence
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versus a way that would
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versus them. Like seeking out, wanting to hear that they are
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beautiful from maybe an, an outside source,
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but helping them, you know, understand what true beauty is and then
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complimenting them on that, that beauty.
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We also have to model self love and confidence
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and so how we talk about our own bodies,
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we are criticizing ourselves in front of our daughters. They're going to
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internalize those messages. Instead. It's important to
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demonstrate gratitude for your body and show them what
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self acceptance looks like and then encourage healthy
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media consumption. Help them if they are engaged in
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social media to curate a feed that
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uplifts them rather than harms them or triggers them
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that they're, that they follow accounts that promote confidence,
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faith and real life beauty instead of unreal realistic
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perfection. And really being able to have these
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conversations with them around social media and
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having talks about well, you saw this. How does this
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make you feel? Right? And just really being
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open and there to have those conversations as they're
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navigating this, this ch. This, this world of social
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media and the,
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the fakeness that it brings into our
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world and then fostering that non diet mindset,
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protecting them from diet culture by avoiding
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language around good or bad foods, and instead teaching
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them to listen to their body's needs and to eat in a way that nourishes
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them in a way that satisfies them without
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feeling guilt or fear. And then creating a safe
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and space for open conversations.
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It is sometimes so awkward to have some of these deep
00:17:33
conversations around these things, but they have to
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let, they have to know that they can talk to you about
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their struggles without fear or judgment. They are
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so open to you just being honest and vulnerable
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and they, they want to share in that honesty and that
00:17:52
vulnerability. Even if you might not know the exact perfect way
00:17:56
to, to handle this situation. It's just, you are
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their safe space. And when you don't open up or you shut the
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conversation down, they're going to seek that out in some other way
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and in a way that maybe you don't get to be a part of that
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narrative. So it's important to be proactive in addressing their
00:18:12
concerns and reassuring them that their value is never
00:18:16
determined by their appearance. So those are
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really some high level things that we can do to help, you know,
00:18:24
build that body confidence in our kids. And so now we're going to kind of
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break this down into some different ages and stages because I, I know
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that as listeners, we have a wide range of kids
00:18:35
in different age groups. But I want to be able to share
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just some ways that we can promote body confidence no matter what
00:18:43
your child's age is. And so when kids are little, like that
00:18:46
toddler in preschool age, they're just beginning to understand their
00:18:50
bodies and how their body moves through the world.
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And it really is just such a sweet time
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to lay a strong foundation for a positive body
00:19:01
image. And this comes from helping, you
00:19:05
know, from that very beginning to root their identity in Christ. Right? And one
00:19:09
of the best things that we can do is to use positive language when talking
00:19:12
about their bodies and, and, and our own bodies,
00:19:16
right? Being able to role model that and instead of making comments about
00:19:20
size or weight, we can say things like, God made you strong
00:19:24
and capable or look how fast your legs can run.
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So really encouraging the fact that their
00:19:31
bodies help them move joyfully or be able
00:19:35
to do new and unexpected things is really another way to
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help. So letting them run, jump and dance just because it feels
00:19:42
good, not because they need to exercise or move
00:19:46
their body, but just knowing that at this age they're also learning
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about personal boundaries. They're also learning how
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their bodies fit in certain spaces and in certain
00:19:56
situations. So teaching them to respect their own body
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as well as respecting Others bodies is key.
00:20:04
So letting them decide if they want to hug someone
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or not, for example, can help them feel a sense of control and
00:20:11
appreciation for their own body. And I think
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that the younger that we start with these positive body
00:20:17
messages, the stronger that our kids and the more confident that our
00:20:21
kids will be in their bodies. I don't know if
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anyone else caught the super bowl commercial that Dove put out, but
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it was this little, this little girl who was running down the
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street and basically the tagline was
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like at age 3 her legs are unstoppable,
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right? Like this what this girl is little girl is saying about her legs at
00:20:43
age 3, oh my legs are unstoppable. And then it says, but by age
00:20:47
14 she'll think they're unbearable. And just to
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see, right. How those thoughts about our
00:20:54
bodies change over time. And so the more that we can help our children
00:20:58
root their identity and root the goodness
00:21:02
of their bodies because God created our bodies good. The earlier that we can
00:21:05
start that, the more impact that we're going to have later on down the road
00:21:09
in their life. And so now as we move into more this school age
00:21:13
children, the kids are growing, right? And as they
00:21:16
grow they start to notice how their bodies compare to others. And this is
00:21:20
where we can help nurture a healthy self image. It's
00:21:24
important to remind them that their value isn't in how they look, but in who
00:21:28
they are, their character. Right. We can praise their kindness,
00:21:31
their creativity and perseverance instead of commenting on their
00:21:35
appearance. I think it's also important to talk about
00:21:39
how everybody's bodies will go through changes
00:21:43
and they'll all grow at different rates and at different times.
00:21:47
And so just know that everybody's body is going through this different
00:21:51
growth cycle and that's going to look different for every kid. And
00:21:54
so that's part of the beauty and the uniqueness of each individual
00:21:58
person's body. And then again, it's also
00:22:02
important to reinforce faith
00:22:06
based confidence. You know, Psalm 139, verse
00:22:09
14 says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And helping our
00:22:13
kids internalize that truth can be so powerful that they
00:22:17
were thought of and, and
00:22:19
created for out of goodness and for love
00:22:23
and that, you know, God had a special, special plan for
00:22:27
them and the body that they're living in. And at this
00:22:31
stage they're also being exposed to more media influence, whether it's
00:22:35
through TV or YouTube or social media. And so it's important to
00:22:38
take time to talk about what's real and what's edited and that can
00:22:42
really help them develop a critical eye and avoid comparing themselves to those
00:22:46
unrealistic standards. And then again, rather than
00:22:50
focusing on what their body looks like, encouraging them to appreciate
00:22:53
what it does, maybe that their legs help them climb trees,
00:22:57
or their hands create beautiful art, or their arms give
00:23:01
comforting hugs. Right. Importance of shifting that focus to
00:23:05
function and the beauty that can be found in the function
00:23:08
over form can make a big difference in how they
00:23:12
view themselves. And so then we get into the
00:23:16
teenage years and teenagers go through a lot of
00:23:19
changes. Like I said, I'm not quite there yet, but right on the cusp.
00:23:23
And I'm definitely starting to see these things. But they go through a lot of
00:23:27
changes physically, emotionally and socially. And I
00:23:31
think this is such a critical time. I think that for many of us, this
00:23:34
is the time that we were, you
00:23:37
know, going through puberty,
00:23:41
changing. Our body was changing to allow us to
00:23:44
introduce and to be introduced into womanhood. And
00:23:48
what was happening is that I think for many of us, we weren't taught
00:23:52
or we didn't know that naturally through these,
00:23:55
these changes that our bodies might gain weight and
00:23:59
that we would gain weight and then we would grow taller. Right? Or that these,
00:24:02
this weight gain was necessary to prepare our bodies for
00:24:06
what was to come in womanhood. We were just
00:24:09
taught or felt the pressure from
00:24:13
external influences from our parents that oh gosh, you're
00:24:17
gaining weight. We have to do something about this, right? That this is a
00:24:20
problem. But we have to remember that this,
00:24:24
this weight gain in these body changes is a
00:24:27
natural part of that process. And I think it's
00:24:31
important to have these honest conversations with our kids and understand
00:24:34
what they are thinking about their own bodies and helping them seek what
00:24:38
is actually true from a biblical and a
00:24:42
scientific perspective. Because they're, they're
00:24:45
feeling this increase in societal pressure. They need us as that
00:24:49
safe space to talk about any of these struggles that they're going through with
00:24:53
their body. So keeping communication open and non
00:24:56
judgmental is one of the best things that we can do as parents. And if
00:25:00
they feel comfortable sharing their concerns, then we can help them
00:25:04
navigate their feelings and remind them that their worth is not tied to
00:25:08
their body. And again, show biblical truth and scientific
00:25:11
truth as to what they are going through. And then
00:25:16
that social media thing, right, it just keeps coming up. It's
00:25:19
unfortunately doesn't seem like it will ever go away. But
00:25:22
social media plays a massive role in their self perception.
00:25:26
So helping them discern which accounts uplift and encourage them
00:25:30
versus those that create insecurity is crucial.
00:25:33
So if they're following influencers who promote unrealistic beauty
00:25:37
standards, it may be time to help them with a social media
00:25:40
detox or help them shift towards accounts that encourage
00:25:44
confidence and faith. And again, just re
00:25:47
emphasizing that they are watching how we treat
00:25:51
our own bodies. If they hear us speaking
00:25:55
negatively about ourselves, they're going to internalize that message
00:25:58
too. Because so often they
00:26:02
see themselves in you and. Right. And it's, it's
00:26:05
even more likely that when, you know, they're told, oh, you
00:26:09
look just like your mom or you look just like so and so, that if
00:26:12
they hear us beating up on ourselves and beating up on our bodies, they're going
00:26:16
to start to internalize that and wonder the same thing. Well,
00:26:20
if people say I look like mom and mom says this about her body, then
00:26:23
it must be true for my own body. So we have to model that
00:26:27
self love and healthy habits to eat
00:26:31
well without guilt and to move our bodies because it feels good.
00:26:34
And then encouraging them to do that right along with you and
00:26:38
speaking kindly about ourselves because we are the
00:26:42
strongest influencers in their lives, whether
00:26:45
we feel it or not and whether they accept it
00:26:49
or not that we are those strong influences
00:26:53
and those consistent influences in their life.
00:26:57
So remember to counter that diet culture message,
00:27:01
help them see food as nourishment, not something to fear
00:27:05
or control. And then teaching them to appreciate food as a gift
00:27:08
from God rather than something to be referring restricted to. Help
00:27:12
them develop a healthy mindset around eating. And then
00:27:16
again importantly, grounding their worth in Christ as
00:27:19
key. 1st Samuel 16:7 reminds
00:27:23
us the Lord does not look at the things people look at. The
00:27:27
Lord looks at their heart. So helping our teens understand
00:27:31
that their value is unchanging no matter how their body
00:27:34
changes can provide that stability that they need
00:27:38
in a world full of those shifting beauty standards.
00:27:42
And then they grow up and they become young adults
00:27:46
and maybe they're leaving the house. And once our kids reach young
00:27:49
adulthood, they're out on their own more. Whether it's in
00:27:53
college or starting a career or forming relationships, this is
00:27:57
when those body image influence issues can really
00:28:00
surface because they're surrounded by new pressures and influences.
00:28:04
So when you've laid that strong foundation as, as
00:28:08
when you've laid that strong foundation for their identity in Christ,
00:28:12
this is going to carry them through and sustain them through these difficult
00:28:16
challenges. First Corinthians 6:19 reminds us
00:28:20
that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. And because of that, our
00:28:24
bodies deserve care and respect. So encouraging those
00:28:27
young adults in your life to seek out community and
00:28:31
support that helps them see their bodies
00:28:35
in a way that's respectful can be really helpful. And being
00:28:38
around people who lift them up and speak life
00:28:42
into them can make a huge difference. So being helping them be
00:28:46
aware of their social circles. And because life is always
00:28:50
changing, they're likely going to experience weight fluctuations
00:28:54
or body shifts due to stress or busyness or just
00:28:58
these natural rhythms of life, just changes that are
00:29:01
happening, happening. And so helping them practice grace and self
00:29:05
compassion is so important and reminding them
00:29:09
that their worth is not in their physical appearance, but in their character and
00:29:12
their faith. So helping our kids develop a positive body image
00:29:16
isn't about giving them the perfect words to say. It's
00:29:19
about showing them about role modeling it through our
00:29:23
own actions and love that they are already enough and helping
00:29:27
them build that strong foundation of an identity in Christ.
00:29:31
So whether we're guiding toddlers, teens or younger adults, our
00:29:35
role is to remind them of their inherent worth and help see
00:29:38
themselves through God's eyes. So I hope
00:29:42
that this episode has been helpful for you.
00:29:46
It's been fun for me to kind of put this together and see
00:29:50
this, see this through all the many different lenses of girls
00:29:54
versus boys and the different ages and stages that that each of them
00:29:57
is going through. So if this episode resonated with you, please
00:30:01
share it with another parent who might need these same words of
00:30:05
encouragement as they are helping their own child navigate
00:30:09
their any body image struggles. So thanks again for
00:30:13
joining me this week. Remember, beauty held is the seed, beauty shared
00:30:17
is the flower. It is your time to bloom. Until
00:30:21
then, I hope you have a beautiful and blessed week. Take care and I'll see
00:30:24
you right back here next week. Talk soon. Bye.
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