Ep. 13 The Secret to Healing Your Body Image Struggles

[00:00:00] So, my husband and I were recently having a conversation and he brought up the fact that I mentioned something, maybe it was on a podcast episode or just in a conversation. But I mentioned something about how the ideal body type for women is constantly changing.

[00:00:19] And he wanted to know what did I mean by that? And so I was trying to explain to him how every few decades the ideal body image changes for women.

[00:00:29] So I found this video on YouTube that showed him how ideal body for women has changed throughout the decades. Like, for several decades on in. And it's this constant kind of flipping back and forth between where it's like very thin to curvy.

[00:00:48] And it's just this constant almost like it streams every few decades. And with this constant change every few years, it has become so frustrating for women. And we feel this pressure to just keep up. We are met with so many conflicting messages.

[00:01:08] And with this ever-changing standard, it's impossible to ever achieve it. So it's also not healthy for us physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually to be constantly trying to chase this ideal body image. This ever-changing ideal causes damage to the way our bodies were created to work.

[00:01:33] It causes mental and emotional chaos that ultimately damages our self-esteem. And it drives a wedge in our spiritual well-being because we're too focused on achieving this worldly ideal and goal when it comes to our bodies. So my suggestion is to do what I did. Stop playing the game.

[00:01:59] Instead of playing this game of constantly being in pursuit of this ever-changing ideal body, shift your focus towards embracing and accepting your body. You're here in now, body by caring for it with consistent and sustainable and science-based and faith-led practices.

[00:02:22] So in this episode, I am sharing the exact approach that I used to help my clients undo the years of shame and frustration they have felt about their bodies. So if you're ready to let go of the ever-changing standard,

[00:02:41] to let go of this worldly ideal and unsustainable, unachievable body that's put out into this world, if you're ready to just finally feel good in your own skin, then this episode's for you. Welcome to the NERShip Loom Podcast where you're faith meets your health.

[00:03:04] I'm your host, Cara Traktor. I register dietician and certified Catholic coach, and I'm here to help you cultivate a deeper connection with your body, your spirit, and the nourishment that sustains them both. In a world filled with noise and confusion about food, health, and body image,

[00:03:20] the podcast offers truth and healing from a Christ-centered perspective. Together we'll untangle the deeper it's of diet culture, and discover what it means to truly care for ourselves through joyful nourishment of mind, body, and soul. We heard a dive into the transformative power of intuitive eating,

[00:03:38] coupled with the rich teachings of our Christian faith. With every episode I'll be cheering you on, offering insights, inspiration, and practical tools to help you heal your relationship with food, and embrace the beauty of your body as a temple of the Holy Spirit.

[00:03:54] With confidence and courage that can only be found in Christ. Join me as we journey together towards a more holistic approach to wellness, when that honors the wisdom of your body as God's creation, the teachings of our faith and the unique purpose you're called to fulfill.

[00:04:11] You were made to bloom, to come into full beauty and health in order to bear good fruit for the Lord with your life. So if you're ready to nourish your body, feed your soul,

[00:04:23] and bloom into the best version of yourself, then you're in the right place, and I'm so happy you're here. Welcome to nourish to bloom, where every day is a sacred invitation to thrive. Hey there, welcome back so good to have you here on the podcast again.

[00:04:45] So I will fully admit this episode on body image was a little challenging to write and record. And not because I don't like to talk about body image, I don't believe in healing body image because I do.

[00:05:04] It's just that there's so much about body image that I want to say and teach you about being able to heal your body image that it was just so difficult to narrow down like what I wanted to focus on for today's episode.

[00:05:21] So I will fully admit I tried my best to just kind of narrow this down and really think about when I have someone to client a new client come to me and we're dealing with body image. This is kind of the approach that I take with them.

[00:05:34] Now please note that body image healing is a very individualized and nuanced area, and there's just so much information out there. And so just know that there will definitely be more episodes to come on this topic about body image.

[00:05:53] But today I just really wanted to try to stay focused on what I think would be really helpful and like a practical way that we can start to approach body image healing.

[00:06:05] And so that's what I'm going to share with you today is kind of this approach that I use of my own clients and how we kind of paint what this picture with this journey of body image healing looks like.

[00:06:16] Because body image is complicated, and it's and it's nuanced because it affects each one of us so differently because it's really this lived experience within our own, our own bodies.

[00:06:32] I mean we can look at all the stats that tell us what percent of women are dissatisfied with their body and I will tell you it's the majority of women who are dissatisfied with their body. But just knowing these stats are knowing that like hey.

[00:06:50] This person of women across America are dissatisfied with their bodies doesn't help to solve your body image struggle right like it gives you a little bit of comfort maybe knowing that.

[00:07:04] So many other women are dealing with this and that and that they can relate to you, but just kind of having these stats and these over generalized.

[00:07:12] And so the idea is about how to heal body image really doesn't help solve the problem because each woman is dissatisfied or unhappy or wanting to change their body for a different reason.

[00:07:27] And while we have made you know steps and strides in body positivity and body acceptance and you know really being able to start to accept that all of us were created to live in different size and shape bodies.

[00:07:45] There's still this many of these campaigns for body positivity continue to fall short despite their best efforts and I really think it's because. It's such an individualized and lived experience we have to go into it like with with each individual person and so all day long like.

[00:08:09] We just hear you should just love your body you should just love your body like it's the easiest and most natural thing in the world.

[00:08:16] But unfortunately you can't just snap your fingers and magically heal your body image it's something that is healed over time or built over time like brick by brick step by step.

[00:08:32] And despite us having these desires to feel good in our own skin to not worry about what our bodies look like or what other people think about it.

[00:08:43] It's just really not as simple as saying okay I'm going to wake up today and I'm just going to let my body. And what I've found after working with women for several years to help them heal their body image I found that the most effective approach.

[00:09:01] To help them heal their body image struggles is a combination of identity and mindset work paired with action items like paired with simple habits that when these two things come together and we're working on you know the mindset piece in the identity piece.

[00:09:19] And the action piece more kind of taking this approach this multi like fastive approach right like I like to think about it it's like.

[00:09:29] And it's like this battle right and you're you're coming at it from multiple sides right but when we take these multiple points of attack on on our body image and our body dissatisfaction that combine this mindset and this identity work with these action steps.

[00:09:45] Really what helps so many women learn to appreciate and embrace and accept their body. And so the action or the habit part of this approach is really designed and phases that's how I've designed it out when I thought I've sat down and I thought that okay.

[00:10:04] But if body dissatisfaction is the norm for each each person or each woman right and maybe the ultimate goal would be you know acceptance or. You know body confidence what are the steps.

[00:10:20] What are those building blocks right what are those little small steps those little wins in each area that can get us to that bigger goal because like I said you can't just go from point eight to point B we got to have some small steps along the way.

[00:10:33] And so that's how I've designed kind of this approach that I take with helping women heal their body image it's really broken down into certain phases and each one of these phases builds upon the other one and so you start to move down this path of healing to where you go from.

[00:10:49] You know body dissatisfaction into you know ultimately getting to a point of at least acceptance and embracing your body hopefully.

[00:11:01] You know over time we get to that point of body confidence but that takes time and so the steps that I'm going to share these different phases that I'm going to share is really this path these little stepping stones on how.

[00:11:14] How we work together to heal your body image and that first phase to moving away from body dissatisfaction is body respect and kindness.

[00:11:26] And really the idea behind body respecting kindness is that you don't have to like every part of your body to respect it and to care for it. Like think about that so many people treat their pets better than they treat their body.

[00:11:43] They feed it they take it for a walk they're kind to it right so in this phase of body respecting kindness what we're really focused on is working on meaning your bodies basic needs with kindness and treating your body that.

[00:12:01] It has dignity it has worth it has value and that's really a core principle from you know a Christian standpoint of of bodies is that.

[00:12:11] Because we are children of God we we inherently have dignity and worth they we don't have to earn that we don't have to earn this dignity and this worth because we are children of God we were born with this dignity and worth.

[00:12:24] And so when we look at this idea of a basic needs it includes things like nourishing your body right feeding your body on a consistent basis with boots that are going to fuel you and satisfy you it's looking at movement and exercise.

[00:12:40] Getting adequate rest being able to have good stress management practices incorporating daily self care and activities to support your mental emotional and spiritual well being.

[00:12:53] So once you think about this first phase of body respecting kindness is these are kind of those check the box kind of items right.

[00:13:01] These like habit trackers that we see on all of our planners or these apps right it's eating regularly drinking enough water you know the kind of things that we just talked about that I just mentioned.

[00:13:11] It's really those check the box box things and we can do this right when we start to treat our body with respecting kindness.

[00:13:19] We can move into that next phase of body appreciation and so this phase of body appreciation is really based on on gratitude and being able to. Have gratitude and and thankfulness and being able to you know praise God for what your body is able to do.

[00:13:41] So there's this book called more than a body and it's written by twin sisters their names are Lindsey and Lexi kite and they receive their doctorates studying like body image resilience.

[00:13:55] And the tagline for their book is your body is an instrument not an ornament and I don't ascribe or our promote everything that they discuss in their book we have some different view points on some different things.

[00:14:11] But I do find this tagline this thought really helpful that our bodies are not in there bodies are an instrument they're not an ornament right so if we combine this phase of gratitude right we can look at it as our bodies were created by God as instruments as tools to do his work.

[00:14:34] They weren't created to be ornaments to show off to the world and hopes of gaining attention or acceptance. The topic church that I go to I'm a catacus for it's called the catechises of good shepherd and it's it's faith formation it's a monastery Montessori approach.

[00:14:55] And we have this really awesome work that we do with our level two kids so these are like first second and third graders and it's looking at the history of the kingdom of God right and it's like the whole creation story of God and look at it on the timeline right of how like you know we had.

[00:15:13] The earth formed and then you know single-celled organisms and well we had plants and then single-celled organisms and animals and like how everything that God created had an order and a purpose that was all leading up to.

[00:15:28] our creation and why we were created and what makes us different from any other thing that he created you know one being created in the image and lightness of God but also looking at the way he created and designed.

[00:15:44] Our form our human bodies versus the way he created you know animals and plants right he created us with hands and hands to do his work right so we are.

[00:15:57] We are God's instruments and tools to do his work to further his kingdom and he created us specifically for those things not to be.

[00:16:08] We are worried or focused on what our outward appearance is but what having gratitude for the way that our bodies help us live out our our vocation to the way it helps us live out.

[00:16:25] Being moms and working in ministries are volunteering to serve in our communities each each way that we live this vocation and the different parts of our lives can all be attributed with gratitude for the way that God created each of our bodies.

[00:16:48] And I think it's important to to to step into this idea of theology of the body and I will fully admit I am not. I am very curious about and continue to start to uncover the different layers of it and start to understand it more.

[00:17:13] In his book man and woman he created him a theology of the body.

[00:17:18] St. Pope John Paul the second teaches us that only the body is capable of making visible what is invisible the spiritual and the divine it has been created to transfer into the visible reality of the world the mystery hidden from eternity and God and thus to be a sign of it.

[00:17:41] So what this is saying is that through our bodies we take this divinity right this invisibility of God and who he is and we make that visible to the rest of the world and share who he is through our bodies.

[00:18:01] And I think that's a really beautiful visualization of understanding that why our bodies were created and how we can have this gratitude of being able to show the rest of the world who God is.

[00:18:20] And why we love it and why we are you know give him praise and think skipping for what he does in our lives and.

[00:18:30] St. Pope John Paul the second goes on to describe that the meaning of the body as a theological anthropology of the human purpose human person and purposes that the human person.

[00:18:43] And so we are created in the image of lightness of God if a gift who is called to be a gift to others and to receive others as a gift. And this gift of self is manifested through with an in the body.

[00:18:59] So he ultimately challenges us to see the body of the human person as a witness to love and a manifestation of the spiritual and the divine right so.

[00:19:11] Understanding that we are called to be a gift of others and then that we receive others as a gift and this occurs through witnessing of love and through the human body right that our bodies are.

[00:19:26] This way that we show love to others and that we share ourselves as a gift and the way that we receive others as a gift is through the human body.

[00:19:35] So learning to appreciate our body can be achieved through this attitude of gratitude, this body appreciation and when we can root this body appreciation in God with. Really taking on this level of like all and wonder for his divine plan and our creation.

[00:19:56] It really helps us move further down this this healing path and instead of being you know so focused on what we look like on the outside really embracing this level of gratitude and appreciation for the fact that.

[00:20:13] Our bodies are so wonderfully made that it allows us to care for our small children that we can you know pick up our our kidding and carry them wherever they need to go or that we can use our hands to prepare a meal for our family.

[00:20:31] Just the ways that we can look at how our bodies live out our vocation and live out love.

[00:20:41] To those that we care about and to our community and to the specific work that we were created for so just having less level of appreciation for our bodies is is that that kind of next phase.

[00:20:55] And then from here we move into this level of body acceptance and so acceptance can kind of be a tricky thing because I think oftentimes acceptance is associated with like this idea of I'm okay, I'm just going to give it and or I'm giving up.

[00:21:17] Because what we do here is different and we in the work that we do here is cry centered. Acceptance really is including this level of surrender and humility.

[00:21:31] You know surrendering to God's will to hearing how he wants us to live our lives and this humility again of our human limitations. And it's like this idea of being able to like let go and let God so to speak.

[00:21:48] And as well as being able to embrace your body as a part of your unique calling and vocation. That God created you in the very body that you were living in right now for important work for the kingdom that only you can do.

[00:22:10] And so this phase of body image healing is really, really where this identity and mindset work becomes very, very important. Body image is a part of our like larger self image of how we view a think and treat ourselves and what we are tethering our identity to.

[00:22:33] And so part of this healing process is process is really doing the work to place our identity fully in Christ. And being able to believe that our worth and dignity is not dependent on anything the world says defines us.

[00:22:52] And sometimes I really love how blunt the Bible can be when we're struggling with some of these ideas right struggling with this these ideas of identity right because I think some of us like we rest our identity and Christ in these certain areas but then we like rest our identity and the world and these other areas.

[00:23:11] Like I just love when the Bible just puts it all out there and it's like hey, it's very plain English here is what's going on you need to be aware of this.

[00:23:21] And so it spells it out like clear as day and sometimes it gives you that gut, untrue action where you're like oh.

[00:23:29] Okay, yeah, like I need to make some changes. I need to like kind of evaluate this and that's what this these verses from James chapter four did for me it's really found in verses one through ten and I just pulled out some.

[00:23:47] Some you know highlights, but it kind of I kind of had that gut, country action especially when I was thinking about all of this in real relation to body image.

[00:23:57] So it says do you not know that to be a lover of the world means in the deal with God. Therefore, whoever wants to be a lover of the world make himself make himself an enemy of God.

[00:24:10] So submit yourselves to God resist the devil and he will draw near to you. Clinge your hands, you sinners and purify your hearts you of two minds humble yourself before the Lord and he will exalt you.

[00:24:26] I mean what really what really got me is just that like one spelling it out like if you want to be a lover of the world then you're an enemy of God and it's like,

[00:24:36] I really don't want to be an enemy of God and then the second one it's about like that part of having two minds right and I think this is this happens to a lot of us right this is where a lot of a sit,

[00:24:49] especially with regards to things like body image and health and wellness we're like kind of sitting in those two minds that those two camps.

[00:24:57] You know that of the world and that of God and that part of our mind is tethered to the world, but if we are able to draw near to the Lord and ask them to be a part of this healing journey.

[00:25:09] Ask them to help us accept and embrace the body that he created us to live in. We allow God's power to work in our lives and ultimately we will be abundantly blessed more so than we could ever imagine,

[00:25:25] especially abundantly blessed in ways that are not of this world. And I think this is really important and this is where that mindset piece comes in because you all the real secret to healing your body image struggles is that it's 100% about changing your perspective,

[00:25:47] changing your mindset, changing your thoughts and your beliefs and and how you see your body and how you're viewing your body and taking care of it and treating it and it is zero percent about changing your body.

[00:26:06] I'm going to say that again, it's a hundred percent about changing your perspective or how you see your body and zero percent about changing your body. Like I want you to stop and think about this right.

[00:26:18] How many times have you told yourself well if I just you know lose the weight or my body looks like this then I will be happy and let's say like maybe you got there.

[00:26:30] The majority of us probably don't ever achieve that body that we like kind of long for desire have like pictured in our minds, but let's just say you get there right so even if you were able to lose the weight and you you know had this body that you.

[00:26:48] had been working towards for so long. Where you really satisfied with your body at that point. Or was there always this sense of like longing or that it could be even better.

[00:27:03] Like that you were chasing something that you thought would bring you satisfaction but it really never could. This is what I mean it's that it's about changing your perspective and not about changing your body.

[00:27:19] Your perspective is the lens in which you view the world and it plays a major role in your body image.

[00:27:30] And your perspective is shaped by your thoughts and your beliefs, which we know is the root for your emotions and your actions right go back and think about when we've my map our thoughts. Create our feelings and our feelings create our emotions and our emotions determine our actions.

[00:27:49] But for many of us the lens in which we see our body is that of a worldly perspective not of a Christ centered perspective. So if we are able to change the lens in which we are viewing our bodies and viewing what our bodies are made for.

[00:28:08] We can change the perspective and the narrative and the story that we are telling ourselves about our body.

[00:28:16] It's like when you go to the optometrist and they have that they change all those lenses and they're like, is one this is two which is better like one or two and here just like,

[00:28:30] I don't know it's so hard to choose because they look kind of the same right.

[00:28:34] But like I want you to think about perspective as like lenses like that right for so long you've had these lenses maybe in in in front of you that's making you like view your body and view health and wellness that is so focused on what the world is saying is beautiful or healthy.

[00:28:52] And now we're going to like change out these lenses right update our prescription and we're going to put on these Christ thinner lenses and we're going to do this work to really. Learn to appreciate and accept our bodies through a Christ centered perspective.

[00:29:13] And this is where like faith based mindset work is what really really differentiates working with me and my approach from any other person you may have worked with or any other program you may have tried in the past.

[00:29:28] Like the faith based mindset and the specific tools and techniques that I guide you through to help you uproot some of these, you know, worldly perspectives is what really takes my coaching and my programs to the next level.

[00:29:45] And helping you be able to take these thoughts and these beliefs and like hold them up to divine truth.

[00:29:52] Like really no matter what area of your life you may be struggling with like maybe it's health and wellness, maybe it's body image, maybe it's relationships or parenting or you know trying to determine like what your purpose is at this point in your life.

[00:30:07] Like this, this faith based mindset is like game changing and I am personally really grateful for having gone through the Catholic mindset coaching certification process because it is truly what helps me get clients long term lasting results like faster and more efficiently than trying to continue to do this on your own.

[00:30:36] I mean, it is it's really really game changing and like especially when we are talking about body image because it is so it is such a struggle for so many of us because we've just been bombarded by all this worldly noise of of you know what we think our body should look like but then also what we think.

[00:31:01] A healthy body body image is right because a healthy body image really isn't about loving your body 24 seven. It's just not possible.

[00:31:12] Right like I think about like there are definitely times and and I feel like mine is very dependent on where I am in my cycle, but there are definitely times where I struggle with body image at different points and I'm more aware of that right.

[00:31:26] But this healthy body image is about having this level of acceptance and appreciation to know that your body is still something you should care for with kindness and respect because you know that your worth is not dependent on the way your body looks or the pursuit of unrealistic health and beauty standards.

[00:31:50] And it's also about being able to work through the head body image days and not let it lead you to a downward spiral or you falling back into unhealthy old habits right and that's where that mindset pieces is really critical that the combination of mindset work to you know really change that perspective.

[00:32:15] Change the lens in which you're viewing your body, but also the action steps of caring for your body because those things together what give you the little the little winds right it's what builds you from you know body satisfaction to body respect to.

[00:32:30] Body appreciation to body acceptance and when you're taking care of your here and now body it means that you're taking care of your future body to the works out you're putting into it now 100% effects your body in the future.

[00:32:49] And the more you practice these principles of a healthy body image the more likely hood there is of you achieving that final phase of body confidence.

[00:33:00] And body confidence is really about being able to hold yourself in a positive regard to fully know and believe that your worth is not tied to your outward appearance and that you feel like the best version of yourself.

[00:33:16] Like what would that look like for you what would it feel like if you could like know that you were living the best version of yourself. And that you were living and enjoying life fully embracing your unique calling and confidently walking your purpose.

[00:33:37] Because you were fearfully and wonderfully made to be you you no one else. Right we hear that quote like.

[00:33:48] Be yourself because everybody else is taken and I think Jeremiah chapter one verse five is a beautiful reminder before I formed you in the womb I knew you before you were born I said you apart. I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.

[00:34:11] You were so like wonderfully made to be you to live in the body that you are now living it right what's the other one like. Take care of your body because it's the only home that you have to live in right like we can't just like.

[00:34:27] Shut our bodies and go choose another one right we were made to live in the body that we are now for a special and unique purpose and vocation. But how much time and energy and money have you dedicated to trying to be like someone else.

[00:34:47] To have the body someone else has to have the job someone else has to have the home the car the relationship that someone else has.

[00:34:56] Our world and this world perspective this lens worldly lens that we view so much of life through it's causes to lose sight of our authenticity because we're just trying so hard to be like someone else like everybody else.

[00:35:14] But God's kingdom needs each of us with our own unique talents gifts works passions and missions and bodies like now more than ever, especially when the world is trying to promote conformity.

[00:35:30] And like it's a real it's a little silly when we think about how our world works it like preaches diversity and you do you you be you.

[00:35:40] Like when we look at the health and beauty industry amongst some others it sends this really strong message promoting conformity and fitting a certain mold in order to be loved and accepted.

[00:35:55] Now I know I've shared this quote from Saint Terez of Licio before, but I think it really paints a beautiful visual of our unique bodies and how God created us in all shapes and sizes.

[00:36:09] So the quote says I understand how all the flowers he has created are beautiful how the splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the Lily do not take away the perfume of the little violet or the delightful simplicity of the day'sy.

[00:36:27] I understood that if all flowers wanted to be roses nature would lose her springtime beauty. If we all wanted to be roses our world would lose its beauty.

[00:36:41] Just as God created all the varieties of flowers he created each one of us to be different and in our uniqueness and our differences we add to the beauty of our world. So as you embark on your body image healing journey.

[00:37:00] My advice as far as prayer goes is to pray for the ability to grow in the virtue of courage or fortitude.

[00:37:11] It's one of my favorite things to pray for because one of my favorite definitions of fortitude is that it's the ability to overcome our fear and we are willing to take risks as a follower of Jesus Christ.

[00:37:28] So growing in fortitude is that we are able to overcome our fears and we are willing to take risks as a follower of Jesus Christ. So I challenge you. Can you overcome the fear of waking?

[00:37:45] Can you overcome your body dissatisfaction or the fear of what your body might look like of what others may say about it? In order for you to more closely follow the Lord.

[00:38:00] To take risks to be a follower of Jesus Christ and to follow where He is leading you in what He is wanting you to do through your life and your vocation. To fully appreciate and accept and embrace you as the unique flower.

[00:38:22] Adding to the beauty of God's garden. Remember, beauty held as the seed. Beauty shared is the flower. Now go blue. Thanks for tuning in to the nearest dublum podcast today. I want to take a minute and extend a special invitation to you as a valued and treasured listener.

[00:38:49] If you have questions or insights you want to share or maybe you simply want to connect with other like-minded women who are on this same journey. As you, I encourage you to join our podcast community.

[00:39:01] So in our community you have the opportunity to engage us by the listeners, ask questions, share your experiences and receive support from me. It's really easy. All you have to do to join our community and gain access to exclusive content and resources is to visit community.carotrachter.com.

[00:39:20] And you can find the link below. Simply click on it, sign up and start connecting today. And be sure to send me a message saying hi when you get all set up. I can't wait to hear from you.

[00:39:32] Thanks again for being a part of our nearest dublum family. I can't wait to hang out with you again soon.